101 Dates Later


I came up with this title about a year ago. I was having one of those famous parking lot conversations with a former friend and we were talking about people we have dated. After, he spilled all his dating adventures, I then thought wow he has dated so many.

in the most judgy way possible

I then shared my count and it was not as high as his. However, in my analytical fashion I went home and wrote down year for year the people I had gone out with and to my surprise I had a list of first dates. WOW! WOW! WOW!

When I realized that I had said yes to many First Dates during the night of August of 2018, I thought I need to change this behavior. And at that moment the way my brain worked…was like this it reassured me… “I will find someone this year. I shall not worry.” I named my list 101 Dates later as an anthem to what would come! Because I was determined to find love!

Though, I was not always like this. How did this begin….

Flashback to nineteen sixty..

Just kidding, I am not that old as I make my students believe. Flashback to a few years back maybe 3 to 5

And….online dating happened and there I was a naive young lady trying to find love on the line!

This was after a few heartbreaks…. sadness. As I reflected in my journal and shed a few tears after the one that got away, I pondered how many dates does it take to meet the one? And it was at that moment (no date specified) in time I thought the more I go on first dates the more chances I have fill the blank or finish the sentence. Honestly, too much of anything can be harmful.

Being a researcher, I began to look up different articles on topics regarding relationships. This became my hobby for a few years while finishing my graduate degree.

Yet, after the nth number of date I was back at square one with a wrinkle map in hand and my compass lost. I was beginning to feel hopelessness and loss. Not only did I spend too much time getting ready, I spent too much time wondering what was wrong with me and those dates. It not only drew me further from my purpose, it drew me further from my goals.

Fast forward to August 2018

After many unsuccessful first dates. But, stories galore, And no serious relationship in sight. And I really wanted to find the one! Mr. Right.

Later that year, I continued to go out on 4 more first dates until I met the one I would end my first date crisis.

Now one year later August 2019. I am ready to share these 101 dates later which initially began as a mocking of myself. A sort of defense mechanism to not dig deep into my feelings. Consequently, humor has been part of this journey as I recount my endless first dates.

Where I stand now?

After, a few good reads and a dating cleanse. I’m off to a more positive directions. I still have loads of personal reflections to read and discover. I know my fears and selectiveness have played a huge part in my lack of establishing a relationship. With soul searching, apologies, and accepting my feelings I know that love does exist. 101 dates later means to me is it has taken 101 dates of healing, prayer, healthy habits to create a positive outlook. I share a few of these on my instagram page 101dateslater. Though, I am the worst at following through, just take a look at this blog.

A few things to remember:

  • Dates and names will be omitted, changed or modified
  • Stories are based on my perspective at that point in time with some current reflective insight.
  • Still in progress
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